Ep. 005: Metroid Dread
Samus Perfected, Eventually
The short version of the Metroid Dread episode is that Alex gives it a nine, Luke gives it something in the neighborhood of a thick seven, and both of them sweated through their palms finishing it. The longer version is about what it means for a franchise to return after 19 years, outdo itself on every technical front, and produce a game that is exhilarating, demanding, and occasionally maddening in equal measure — sometimes within the same boss fight.
Metroid Dread was developed by MercurySteam and Nintendo EPD and released on October 8, 2021 for the Nintendo Switch — launching alongside the Switch OLED as something of a flagship showcase for that screen's true blacks and saturated color. It is the fifth mainline 2D Metroid, a direct sequel to 2002's Fusion, and by Nintendo's own description the conclusion of Samus Aran's story. MercurySteam had previously handled the Samus Returns remake on 3DS, which was apparently the tryout for this one. The project had been in development hell for years — the EMMI robot concept, the game's central new mechanic, required AI tracking technology that simply didn't exist when the idea was first conceived. Metacritic scores it in the low 90s. Both hosts completed it in roughly nine to ten hours, though Luke's Switch claimed fifteen, which he disputed audibly. The game won Best Action Adventure at The Game Awards. Neither host disagrees with that.
The Metroidvania pitch — you are Samus Aran, intergalactic space ranger, dropped onto a new planet called ZDR, stripped of your abilities, and tasked with clawing back out from the bottom of the map while acquiring an ever-expanding arsenal of powers — is one both hosts can now explain with authority, having played Super Metroid earlier in the year. The comparison is instructive: Dread took everything about that game's movement and doubled down on fluidity. The slide is buttery. The screwball infinite-jump attack feels absurdly powerful once you have it. The auto-save that triggers every time you enter a boss room — a notable departure from classic Metroid checkpoint logic — means you can throw yourself at a fight repeatedly without backtracking a hallway each time. These are not small things.
The EMMIs are the centerpiece conversation. These extraplanetary multiform mobile identifiers — Dread's contribution to the genre — are effectively indestructible robot hunters that patrol specific zones, detect you by sound, and cannot be killed until you complete the area's required sequence. The counter move, a well-timed button press on a flash cue, is your only real reprieve: stun them for a window, run. Both hosts confirm the satisfaction of a clean counter and the specific suffering of landing it once and then failing the follow-up. Alex's advice, offered with mild authority: learn the loop of whatever room you're in, exploit the geometry, and you'll find the game has quietly designed the space to help you. The underwater EMMI does not care about this advice.
Bosses land similarly: punishing until they aren't, and then never again. Kraid — the massive, nostalgic alligator from Super Metroid making his return — took both hosts an embarrassing number of tries. The Chozo Warriors are annoying throughout, but the gold variant near the end is, in Alex's words, harder than the final boss. Raven Beak, the climax fight, earns genuine respect once you learn to slide under his beam attacks and work through his two phases. Alex watched a YouTube video beforehand and declines to fully apologize for it, noting Luke beat the game one day earlier as sufficient motivation. Both of them dropped their Switch at least once. This is described as having fun.
Side Quests this episode: Luke tore through Death's Door (saving his full thoughts for the upcoming Zelda episode due to its Zelda-like sensibilities), dove deep into a fresh Skyrim playthrough on PC — high elf, named Elfo after the Matt Groening Netflix show, firmly in his "scrimming" era — and picked up Paper Mario 64 on the Nintendo Switch Online expansion pack. He also grabbed SteamWorld Dig 2 for no particular reason, which feels correct. Alex has been working through GTA 4's storyline on PC, declining every in-game social invitation from his cousin, and dabbling in Skyrim himself. The bigger news on Alex's end is the Analog Pocket, a premium FPGA handheld from Analog that plays original Game Boy, Game Boy Color, Game Boy Advance, and Game Gear cartridges on a gorgeous modern screen — two years after ordering, it finally shipped. It docks to a TV via an optional extension and pairs with 8BitDo controllers. For anyone with a Game Boy collection, it sounds like exactly what it claims to be.
This episode is unofficially brought to you by Uncle Frankie's, a dirty Chicago-style joint in Minneapolis, consumed immediately before recording. Burger King has been offered the sponsorship slot repeatedly. Burger King remains unavailable.
Metroid Dread is available on Nintendo Switch. Play it with your full attention. Get there before the EMMI does. Full episode wherever you listen, and come tell us we're wrong about the ending in the Low Five Discord.
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